The Mommy Panel – Pinching!

Hello friends!  Welcome to another Mommy Panel question and answer session.  This week our question is:

Missy – Matthew seems to be pinching quite a bit lately so I just sit him in time out and make him stay there. Then I have him say sorry to whoever he pinched. I tell him that hurts when you pinch. You don’t want to hurt them do you? That’s not nice. 

Meredith – Luckily this isn’t an issue yet, but I’m anxious to hear what’s worked for other mommies :o)

Ashley – I haven’t gotten there with C.A.P yet ! Hopefully I can get some feedback from the other Mamas so I know what to do if it happens !

Janiene – My children never pinched, but that does not make them innocent! We have had other behaviors that we have had to work through. My method for correcting a behavior that is wrong or harmful to another person is to catch my child in the act! I then hold their hand and apply pressure while I bend down and look into their eyes and then I tell them that their hand just hurt their friend (or brother). Then in simple words (depending on their ages) I say “no hit brother”, “no push friends”, “soft hands”, “gentle hands”. If my child is old enough to reason I apply the pressure on their hand and look into their eyes and ask if they would be friends with someone who just hit them or pushed them or used their feet to kick them. Their answer is always no and I remind them of the verse in Proverbs that says “A friend must show himself friendly.” I remind them that to have friends you must be a friend. The reason I apply pressure is because while I am talking to them it is reminding them of their hand the whole time – the hand that caused the hurt. Then my child has to go say sorry and then the correction is done and I wait for the next 🙂 It’s all about catching it, correcting it, teaching them new behaviors and staying consistent. 

Pamela – I am dealing with that right now with my youngest who is 2, the first time she pinched it caught me off guard and it really hurt and I screamed, and it scared her she started crying.  I just let her know you dont do that, that hurts really bad.  Of course she did it again, and I just told her it hurts, and then I pinched her back and said see I told you it hurts.  That’s how I got her to stop pinching, she hasnt done it since that day!

Tygre – Uh oh, I’m very grateful that Mae hasn’t started pinching yet.  I will be taking you all’s advice for when the time comes! Mae sometimes playfully bites her brother though, but we’ve been trying to redirect her and just say, “No, no, no, we don’t bite brother.  You have to be soft ::stroke brother gently:::” 😉

Karen – Thankfully my son only pinched me. Not that I enjoyed it, but at least there were no embarrassing incidents with his making other children cry. I’d say no fairly sharply and if he persisted I’d go and sit where he couldn’t reach me which drove him nuts. After a while (a few months) he outgrew the stage I guess. I had actually forgotten all about it until this question came along!

Janette Johanson Gosh, I thankfully haven’t had this issue with my kiddos {yet}.  Biting has been more up our alley and that is a tough one.  I know it might sound mean but I tend to think if someone pinches me, I’ll pinch them back so they know how it feels.  I feel sortof childish saying that but I honestly don’t know what else you could replace that feeling with… biting tends to be because of teething and using teething tools.  Great question!

Kristine – Maggie is turning two and Mia is 10 months old… so no pinching over here. When does it normally “start” ?

Angela – Honestly, we haven’t had a problem with pinching. I’ll be interested in reading the answers though!

Tricia – We thankfully have never had this problem…knock on wood!

Michaela – Emma started pinching about a month ago. She only pinched me. She picked it up from a boy at MDO. Thankfully, that little troublemaker was moved up into the older classroom. She stopped pinching after he left.

I can’t wait to read other people’s answers. I’m sure I’ll need this again some day soon!