No, this isn’t an outfit post. I wish it were though. I’m talking about wearing pants in summer because I’m too embarrassed to show my legs. Because I have psoriasis. Well the short answer is psoriasis. The long answer is I had strep throat about a month ago and it triggered an outbreak. All. over. my. body.
This is just a small portion of the outbreak and before it peaked. I have spots all down my legs, on my stomach, my back and my arms. I look like a cheetah. [Or is it a leopard? Ok I just goggled them. I look like both. THIS is why I can’t homeschool.] And I’m embarrassed and self conscience about it. I refuse to wear shorts because of what people might think. I don’t want to be looked at funny or have someone think Im contagious. I don’t want my kids to see other people looking at us funny.
Let me back track. I found out I had psoriasis when I was 8 and I had my first massive breakout. I remember I couldn’t pronounce psoriasis so when someone would ask what was wrong with me, my friend would have to say it for me. I got stared at and made fun of because I was covered in red spots. It was triggered then [like it was now] by strep throat. Psoriasis is an auto-immune disease, so when one part of my body isn’t working so well, it flares up.
I went to my primary doctor two weeks after the strep because I was breaking out all over my neck. She gave me a steroid cream and sent me on my way. My neck cleared up but everywhere else got worse. I made an appointment with my dermatologist and was given two shots in the office, an antibiotic and a spray to try and help. He also told me that it could take up to 6 months to go away.
I called my mom after and I just cried. I know this isn’t the end of the world, but it sucks. It just plain sucks. Im so self conscience and worried what other people will think that having someone tell me Im going to be covered in spots for up to 6 months made me bawl like a baby. Why? Why do I care what other people will think? And why am I going to make myself miserable this summer by wearing pants? I honestly don’t know.
Its something I need to work on. Its also something I don’t want my kids to have to worry about. I want them to be themselves no matter what anyone thinks. Maybe this is why I let Ryley take her microphone toy to the grocery store and sing ‘Twinkle Twinkle’ non stop. I want her to know its ok to be unique, even if people are staring. That standing out is not a bad thing. That she is imperfectly perfect. [I need to practice what I preach!] Now if I could only take my own advice and put on some shorts this summer!
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Tamara @ The Workout Mama says
Oh no! That just stinks! I hope that it clears up soon for you.
xoxo, Tamara
Kelley says
Thanks Tamara! I hope so too.. its hot out there!
Mandy @ This Girl's Life says
Oh goodness I’m so sorry you are dealing with that. 🙁 It is so hard to not worry about what other people will think. I would feel the same way and probably wear a lot of maxi skirts when it is really hot. I talked about being yourself on my blog today too…it is so easy to compare ourselves to others. Maybe you could wear capri tights under skirts for a cooler option until it clears up?) {{Hugs}}
Kelley says
Thanks sweet friend! It is so hard to not worry what other people think. Im glad Im not alone on that! I think Ill stock up on lightweight maxi dresses and skirts for the summer.. great idea!
Chrissy says
Aw! I think it’s perfectly normal to feel the way you are feeling. When our bodies fail us, it blows. And you have a physical reminder of that all over.
Keep your head up and know that all of your followers love you no matter what your skin looks like, leopard or cheetah. 😛
Kelley says
Awww!! Thank you so much Chrissy!! This really made my day! Leopard or Cheetah 😉
Crystal says
I’m so sorry 🙁 It’s easier to tell our kids that it doesn’t matter what people think than to put it in to practice ourselves. I’ve struggled with that my whole life. My husband has really helped me break through this….I have to confess I’m not completely there, but I’ve come a long way. I know it is hard, but we are an example to our kids. If you like those long skirts (I don’t wear skirts or dresses) or summer long dresses you could wear them too. I’m praying for you!!
Kelley says
Thanks so much Crystal! My hubby has helped me alot with this too. Its just easier to tell my kids to not worry but then secretly worry myself. Im going to stock up on maxi dresses and skirts for sure. And try not to worry! 🙂
Nancy Carr says
Kelly, I have heard of psoriasis and have never seen it. I am sorry you have this. One of my brothers has severe eczema and always has those places all over his body and it itches, too. When I was younger I cared about what other people thought. Maybe it takes a lot of aging to not care anymore what others think. Wish I had learned it earlier though. If someone asks you could always consider it an educational conversation and tell them about your illness. I hope you are not uncomfortable with this and that it clears up soon. Relax and enjoy your summer.
Kelley says
Thank you Nancy! What a sweet comment! One day I wont care what people think, but for now I will take your advice and try to educate people on it! Thank you!
Mom says
Pick yourself by your boot straps and put them shorts on sista………it was almost 100 degrees today. And then grab Ryley’s microphone and we’ll head on down to the store. You can sing up and down the aisles and people will look at you singing and will never notice you psoriasis. 😉
Kelley says
Thanks mom! Yes, lets go signing down the aisles together. 😉
kelley @ Miss Information says
Seriously we must be each other in another world! I too have psoriasis which started when I was in 4th grade. It has been a life long battle but sun is one of the best things for it amazingly enough when I was pregnant and when I lived in California mine went away completely. Mine never goes away now and usually gets really bad when the weather changes as well. Kelley you are beautiful and there is so much more to you than that.
When I have kids ask or say something I make it seem cool and explain that I have super cells that multiply 10 times faster than theirs do and they think that is kinda cool! Slap those shorts on and get some sun on those legs they will heal faster!
Kelley says
Such a smart answer!! I never thought about it that way! And yes.. we must be the same person! 😉
Jane's Adventures in Dinner says
You get those shorts and dresses on and to heck with anyone. They want to look-well, go right ahead. We all have flaws-at little yours are little and evident from the outside. A lot of folks are better at hiding them. C:
Kelley says
You are too sweet to me!! 🙂